Life sucks

Why must I always be a victim...and how do I stop? Does it have something to do with my only seeing 2 options to a crisis, avoid or bail. Notice that dealing with it is not an option. I'm not equipped with dealing, because I am not strong enough. If I try to deal with something, I feel like it will crush me.

Funny, I know down deep somewhere, I can handle it. I was in an abusive marriage and I managed to get out. The thing is, I tell myself it is because of my kids. One night my oldest witnessed the abuse and that led to me leaving. So even then I cannot credit myself with the strength to leave. It's like I had an excuse to get out of a bad marriage.

I tend to react to life rather than acting. Acting would take confidence in myself. So a what point to I start living life instead of letting it happen to me and how do I do it???