Life sucks

Why must I always be a victim...and how do I stop? Does it have something to do with my only seeing 2 options to a crisis, avoid or bail. Notice that dealing with it is not an option. I'm not equipped with dealing, because I am not strong enough. If I try to deal with something, I feel like it will crush me.

Funny, I know down deep somewhere, I can handle it. I was in an abusive marriage and I managed to get out. The thing is, I tell myself it is because of my kids. One night my oldest witnessed the abuse and that led to me leaving. So even then I cannot credit myself with the strength to leave. It's like I had an excuse to get out of a bad marriage.

I tend to react to life rather than acting. Acting would take confidence in myself. So a what point to I start living life instead of letting it happen to me and how do I do it???

The Ultimate Reality Show

The Ultimate Reality Show by Clay Jacobsen is centered around Jack Forrest, A high school football coach who is about to loose his job. As he sends his players off the field a chopper lands and is followed by a black suburban with a camera crew. Vince Sinclair, a TV host, approaches and tells Jack, "Congratulations, you have been selected, you are the next contestant on the Ultimate Challenge! You will return in seven days or less depending on how well you do. You could win ten million dollars. Your first challenge is you must decide to get into the chopper in the next 60 seconds or forfeit your position."

Jack has never seen the show and he could win ten million, which would be good if he does loose his job. On the other hand, the school board was meeting that night to discuss his possible dismissal and he should be there to defend himself. His friend and the vice principal, Kathryn coaxes him to go.

He makes the decision and signs the standard release form and is promptly shot with tranquilizer. He awakes on a plane with 9 other contestants, all of whom were plucked from their daily life. This show is much like Survivor, there are challenges and eliminations, unlike Survivor there are personal challenges that must be done to remain in the game, and they must be kept secret. The only rule in this game is there are no rules.

I am a big fan of Survivor so I thought this would be great. I did enjoy the book. It was a fun quick read. There was a side story that I thought was a bit predictable, but there was a twist to it. This is a christian book and I felt that side of it, at times was a little forced and trite. Overall it was good.

I give it a 3 1/2 out of 5

Lean Mean Thirteen

Lean Mean Thirteen is the latest installment of the Stephanie Plum adventures by Janet Evanovich. I happened upon this author when she came out with One for the Money and I knew she was going to hit it big. I love this series, it is different than anything else I have read.

In this book, Stephanie's ex-husband ends up missing, and since she was last seen with him, trying to inflict bodily harm, she's the prime suspect. As other partners in her ex's firm end up dead, things are looking worse and worse. Stephanie's a bounty hunter, and since she fell into this job after losing her job as a lingerie buyer, she's still honing her skills. Between her sometime boyfriend, Morelli and a hot bounty hunter, Ranger, someone has to make sure she keeps from harming herself in the process of hunting her own FTAs and trying to clear her name.

I always find myself laughing outloud at the situations Stephanie gets herself into, and dreaming of the two hot guys that keep her on her toes. If you love reading even the littlest bit, this series is a must!!! I cannot wait for Fearless Fourteen which comes out in June.

I give this a 5 out of 5.

Things that should never be said...

I thought I would share some insight I have discovered during my 40 odd years of life. There are something that should never be uttered out loud to your spouse/significant other...

1. "Now you know how I feel"

I kid you not, my husband said that to me just today. I had just come home from a trip to pick up pizza with my 2 daughters. They are 19 and 21 and they are polar opposites. This means anything one says will most often piss the other one off to no end, and a bitch-fest ensues. That is what happened today, and since I have had a week of stress compounded by many doubles at work ...I did what any normal woman does.. I yelled and cried. When we got home my husband asked what was wrong, he knew I was upset and he knew it about the girls, cause they were in an equally dismal mood. I said nothing, he said is it a girl thing? I said yea...just hoping he would leave me alone. He said, "Well, now you know how I feel." Okay, now, not only is that what a 5 year old says...how is that supposed to help ANY situation? What does that statement really mean??? Finally you have a bad time with the girls...finally they piss you off...finally you have it as hard as I do???? Seriously, all that statement did was show immaturity and piss me off.

2. "...but..." (a.k.a. the back-handed compliment)

Anytime you use "but" in a sentence you mean as a compliment...you WILL negate said compliment. For example "You look pretty, but don't you have another dress?" This means, "I appreciate your effort, but you don't really look good in that." Or, "The house looks good, but it looked fine before." This means, "You wasted your time." When it comes to this, please keep your compliments to yourself.

Healing Stones

Demetria Costanas is a married mother of two and a Christan college professor who has started a new program called Faith and Doubt with her colleague Zach Archer, where students can explore their doubts about God, thereby making their faith stronger. The powers that be are not happy with this liberal approach to the bible. The program is not the only thing she has shared with Zach...she has also been having an affair with him.

Healing Stones by Nancy Rue and Stephen Arterburn is a story about an adulterous woman and the ramifications of her decision. This is one of the better christian fictions I have read and I was surprised by the issues that they dealt with in the book.

As it opens, Demitria is going to Zach's houseboat to tell him the affair is over and she is going to try to make her marriage work. He tells her how wonderful she is and how much he loves her. She finds it is harder to get away from him than she thought and as she finds herself back in his arms...there's a flash of a camera.

Pictures make it back to her boss, the heads of the college and her husband and all hell breaks loose. The heads use this as an excuse to not only get rid of her and Zach, but also her boss, Ethan, who encourages her and backs the Faith and Doubt program. Her husband and oldest son hate her and kick her out...and her son turns her daughter against her. She finds herself jobless, homeless and alone.

Ethan asks Demitria to meet with his old friend Sullivan, a psychologist. We follow her through her journey into her past, and what brought her to a place she thought she would never go. We see as she makes new friends that help her through and what it takes to come out on the other side of a really hard time.

This book is ultimately about the legalism that chokes organized religion today and what God gave us when Jesus died on the cross...grace. I loved this book for that. I did find some parts worded awkwardly, and at times it didn't read smoothly, but that was minor. It grabbed my attention, I cared for the characters and it renewed my soul thinking of the grace that God gives even if I don't feel it from other "Christians".

I give this a 4 1/2 out of 5.

Conversations at work...

I have a table of about 8 drinking and eating....

In comes 2 more guys, joining the 8, and sit down....I card them, they order drinks, they order food....then one of them motions he wants to talk to me off to the side...

Guy: I was wondering,... I mean, I'm not sure what you do for,.... well the thing is...I know you do things for,... like,... bithdays...

Me: yeah....

Guy: well the thing is,... um well,... I wasn't sure if you,.... um,... like,... could you,... do you, well, ...my son died 2 days ago,... thats why we are all here...and I didn't know if you can like,.. if we could get a drink....

Me: oh, my gosh,...I am so sorry...(feeling really bad for this guy)

Guy: Yeah, ... he was 7 months, I have two older girls...

Me: I can't even imagine how you feel...(now wondering why he's here not home with his wife) (was he using his son's death to get a round of free drinks?)

There's No Place Like Here

There's No Place Like Here by Cecelia Ahern is a story about Sandy Shortt who since she was 10 was obsessed with finding missing things. Whenever something goes missing whether a sock, stuffed animal, or roll of tape she feels she must search until it is found. Her life is disrupted and all is put on hold, she is compelled to find it. As an adult, she runs her own missing persons agency, knowing how those who lost loved ones feel.



As Sandy is working on one particular case, she finds herself jogging on a trail and right into a camp of people who she knows to have gone missing many years ago. Not sure how she got there, or how to get back to her car, she finds out she herself has become one of the missing. Helena, one of the group of people at the camp, befriends her and shows here around what they call "Here". It seems this is where all things and people that go missing go. Sandy meets several of the people she had been looking for and sees how they have coped in this new place.

This is a cute book I can best describe as chick-lit.
I give it a 3 out of 5.